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ZRP Random Musings: New Shoes, letting go, and not inspiring

Ready for another Appletini drinking session or to engage into some ZRP tickle butt?

(Yes I am engaging my wrestling loving side again.)

First things first. I have been dealing with tight hip issues lately and I found the bottom of the problem. It was shoes! I was kind of thinking it was shoes but was not certain but I took advantage of going to see my friends at Road Runner Sports and I was defiantly in the wrong shoes. The last couple runs since I got refitted have been my strongest in a long time. I really feel like it might be coming back together. I am in a pair of Brooks Adrenaline and they are my game changers. I feel like training for the marathon might be back on the right track.

And now for the more deep stuff.

A little look at my run from today.
Someone who for sake of this conversation can and should remain nameless called me an inspiration for working on my 6th marathon. I don’t do well with the word inspiration. Maybe I have never seen myself as one because I feel like the turtle that is calm and tranquil under water but I am just paddling. But after the last conversation said person also helped in their own way help me realize that I am chasing what scares me, what pushes me outside my comfort zone. Yes I have ran marathons before, but it feels like I am starting from scratch because its been so long since I have done it, and I for one know how hard SF is. And I have thoughts about what is next but I am not sure where its all going to go.

Call it chasing my unicorns if you will. If I inspire someone because of it that is amazing. Its never going to be a picture perfect journey. For me this is the continued chapters of me following my heart. I still don’t know if I will ever get used to being called an inspiration but it goes back to something that I do not

If you have followed me the last few months you have heard me talk about the fact that I have stepped back from most of my ambassadorships this year just keeping my hands on a couple where the work load was a lot more manageable. It has been a-ma-zing for me. I am so much happier and I don’t feel like I am chasing my tail so much. I am running less this year but I am more focused on running for me and getting back to my strong side. And I am still volunteering for things but I am taking on stuff that fills my bucket. But I went to my first group running event a few weeks ago and it was amazing. I actually got to be social and hang out.

I have had a lot of people talking to me about the last couple random musings blog. I just want to add this. The journey some of us are on is not about a healthy lifestyle. Some of us do not want to be skinny, some of us just want to be happy in our own bodies.

I have more going in my head that might have to be a second musings later. But there is a cat who needs me.

A little new feature here: Discounts for You!

Running is expensive..

I know I can’t afford it all the time.

So I am putting a new page on my website of discount codes I pick up on my journey. If you know of one that you want to share feel free to leave a comment on that page.

I will warn you that if its a product I will not touch myself I will not approve it. This manly applies for supplements ect.

Here is the link: Discount Codes for You

ZRP Musings: I Don’t Get Bloggers Anymore

First off, quick update on training for SF. I feel like I am making progress right now. Due to allergies and a combination of things a majority of my running has been on the treadmill but I am okay with it. I am making small speed and distance progress with every run. I am patient, it will all come together. I will do another update later regarding that.

But the main topic of this blog is for me to voice something I don’t get. I will probably offend someone by saying

I was trying to find an Appletini drinking meme, this will do
what I am saying and I may sound like a bully. But I made a promise to get back to the basics this year. And I am doing that.

I won’t call out the blogger in particular. But there is a blogger who posted something the other day about how she is injured and won’t be able to run X event, she does not understand why and she is afraid of letting readers down.

Here is the thing;

She does multiple runs of 18 miles sometimes back to back. She does not take rest days that any of us can tell what so ever. Her eating has made some readers question if she has an eating disorder. By all indications she should of been injured a long time ago. She was living on borrowed time. I feel for her totally. Injuries suck, they derail out goals and plans. (I just dropped out of a race I was supposed to do in April because my doctors was 110 percent against the idea). People freely admit they compare themselves to her in terms of their workouts, their nutrition.

If you are stopping yourself and saying whoa, pull up and have a drink of wine with me. (Or an Appletini, its a wrestling thing)

Reading a lot of blogs like I do, I started noticing a trend. We as healthy living or running bloggers (depending on the ball park) are so hyper-focused on clean eating/bad eating, we beat ourselves up when we are not perfect, we are making sure we get out workouts in, ect. Do we think about the kind of influence we are on people or are we so worried about ambassadorships, ad space ect that we don’t care?

I know when I took myself out of the ambassador game last year it was because I was so busy trying to look good and blow everyone away I was running myself into the ground. Running had all of a sudden become unfun and I was comparing myself to other bloggers. I was not eating the way they did, I was not training the way I should. I kept two (SF and my new adopted Hedstrom Fitness, along with my affiliate stuff)that made sense for my goal where I am at.

If this is what fitness and running blogging is about, I bid you all goodbye now.

Let me be blunt.

I have never considered myself an inspiration or role model. There are some days that I want a hamburger and I walk up to Dairy Queen (live 6 blocks from one, seriously) and get myself one. I don’t do it all the time but I never tell myself I can’t or its dirty. I work with a talented running coach who helps make sure that I am not over training. And I think he was ecstatic when I walked away from a bunch of my commitments.

I was also taught early in my weight loss journey that not only moderation is key, but its okay to give yourself a break. Its okay to indulge, its okay to say “Hey my body is saying heck no today, its time to give it a break”. You just have to make sure you are in balance and it is not an all the time thing.

Could I be thinner, faster, prettier? No doubt, but I am happier in my own skin.

But then again, maybe I just don’t get any of it.

ZRP Musings: Let the marathon training fun begin #runchat #fitfluential

This week basically starts the training cycle for The San Francisco Marathon for me, and the training plan. It is kind of that moment where you realize the next few months are going to be nothing but hard work, doing whatever it takes to get to that goal of the finish line on the Pier in SF.

I think it hit me why I have not done this in awhile. Actually my last marathon was the full two years ago in SF. Not to go into the specifics; I swore off marathons after that point. For me coming back to SF was like literally unfinished business.

I am not certain I have a time goal for this. I just want to be really see the finish line stronger then did the first time.

After talking to a friend today I realized most of this was mental. I have a great training plan from Club Hill Runner (got to give love to my coach) and I am still doing my OCR workouts and I think the combination works well for me and pushes me.

I have been so crazy with my client. But it has been a good thing.

I have been working with the Wolfpack Ninja’s on the promotion of their Ninja event. It has been a challenge for me because I have had to learn how to bring my writing to an event style level but I have also gotten to work with the people who have inspired me and for years as I have watched their American Ninja Warrior journey’s.

I really do love the work that I do. I am spoiled. There are days that I question it. But I am learning how to embrace my skill and talent for it.

I think making the decision to cut back on some of the extra commitments this year as the best feeling ever. I really feel like the focus is back to being me, running this blog for me and just opening the door out to more opportunities. There are some things coming down the pike that I am really happy for.

Sometimes you just have to jump.

More later.

OHHH as an aside, because lord knows I said I was going back to things that made me smile. As a wrestling fan I have never smiled harder.

Those random kind of musings… When it needs to be fun again.

Ill do a full recap on the pacing adventures at the Seattle Hot Chocolate 15K adventures later.

Here is a confession:
Running stopped being fun, blogging stopped being fun, volunteering stopped being fun.

Part of it has to do with just being burnt out on volunteering, and the whole rushing around to try to advertise, market to brands, try to be an ambassador ect.

And as for volunteering, it got to the point it was dishearting to volunteer anymore. The events I was volunteering with just drained the fun out of me. And I honestly didnt feel like I was making a difference. I even gave up one of my absolute favorites this year.

It literally stopped being fun.

The other part, and I hate sounding this way. There are some bloggers who work really hard and deserve to get some amazing opportunities. They are true inspirations and they are the picture of health. And there are some people out there that literally you have to ask yourself if the company really understands what they are doing. Watching bloggers who their own readers are calling them out for eating disorders, or disordered view of exercise, but yet companies flock to them.

The second I started to say no, it felt like the pressure was off and I started to have fun again. I also started to take advantage of my work situation and I have been adding in some modified obstacle course racing workouts which have been a really big challenge, but also in its own way, it has been a lot of fun.

A friend of mine told me several months ago that if I was not having fun, was it worth doing.

What has become really fun to me has been getting more involved with the Hogwarts Running Club. The entire focus is about not only Harry Potter which is a win. But it is about using running to not only improve our lives but the lives of others less fortunate.
We do virtual events to raise funds and awareness for different charities. Each house has their own common room (though I hang out with the Faculty) and everyone motivates one another. We also use the Charity Miles app to continue to push for our running to give more.

Adding to that coming back to The SF Marathon. I did say yes to being an ambassador this year, because it has always been about partnering and working together for such an amazing event. And I really want to have a marathon this year. Its been two years and it is time to go down this road.

Things are starting to be fun again.

And I am ready to share the journey.

Feels Like The First Time… #TSFM2017

Let’s just get it out there. If you do not feel like jamming out with me just skim down just a little bit

I am back for a 4th year as an ambassador and part of the amazing team at The San Francisco Marathon. This is the one I could not give up. This is a special event to me, its the event that taught me so much about myself. It is the event that has always worked hard to put their runners and their ambassadors first. I can not thank them enough for letting me dance one more time.

On top of this it is the 40th year of The San Francisco Marathon

So why am I saying Feels Like the First Time?

I am running the full marathon which is how this adventure started, and I have not ran a full since three years ago when this started. I know what I am up against, I know what is involved and I know that I am in for a huge challenge.

I am changing my training. One of my biggest issues was getting in my strength training. I actually used my work connections to get myself started on a strength training plan (Thank you Yancy Camp) I am using some of the basics of some of the obstacle course world, adapting it for my ability levels and working with that. The first couple weeks I feel like I was making gains (we got hit with the worst winter storm Portland has had in 30 years which has killed my gym time)

Once the weather clears up I will be working a lot on my run training. The one thing the last year taught me is I was not where I want to be in terms of shape so I am putting my focus on that. I think giving up some of the things that have left me with not so fulfilled and happy are helping me

My goal is just to make the 40th Anniversary the return to the marathon. Will think time goals later on.

Dear Ambassadorships/Volunteer Programs: It is not you; its me.

Dear Ambassadorship Programs:

It’s not you, it’s me. We need to step back from each other for awhile.

Love

Me

I have been debating on writing this blog for awhile but I think it needs to be said and it goes back to my desire to be 110 percent honest.

I have had the pleasure of being an ambassador for some amazing programs. They have truly given me a chance to 43527891share my story and my platform with. When I started to do ambassadorships it was about using my running and my story to share and inspire people on hey, if I can do it so can you.

But it’s evolved a lot. And I am not certain for the good.

Personally I have been juggling too many and I know it and I have had a hard time telling myself that I am doing the best I can with what I have. I know one company I love that I didn’t give as much attention as I should. I own that, and I am hoping by taking the pressure off that I can start doing this for me again and start focusing the energies on the things I want to focus on.

But part of this to comes from burn out.

I volunteered a ton of hours for certain programs and I would leave events so frustrated that I would either be on a bus crying or in a friends car crying because I felt like I would give 150 percent but it just was not good enough. It’s not supposed to be like this.

Volunteering for me is about giving back and seeing smiles on the faces of the people who inspire me every day and have kept me going.

And I doubt I would be human if I did’t say sometimes the lack of thank you from some of the programs isn’t playing a lot into this. And I don’t need much, just someone saying “We appreciate your hard work.” We all want to feel appreciated and feel like our efforts are noticed.

I am keeping one program and possibly two. I think that will make me a lot happier. I will still get my volunteer time done but I am going to focus on more energy on making a difference again.

#OldGlory Relay: A Once in A Lifetime Experience to Support @TeamRWB

I think the best way to describe this experience is once in a life time.

Yesterday I had the honor of running 2 miles with the American Flag as part of the Old Glory Relay. Team RWB explains this best in their media kit.

From inspiration, strength, or freedom, each person who touches
this year’s Old Glory has their own story of CONNECTION to the symbol
of our great nation.
Throughout the 4,216-mile journey across the United States, the participants
and supporters of “America’s Relay” will come together to honor the sacrifice
of thousands of Americans who have fought for America’s freedom, and make
a public display of support for veterans as they return to their respective
communities. This amazing experience allows Team RWB to spread our mission
of enriching veterans’ lives, recruit new members into the organization,
and generate donations for our core programs focused on leadership
development and engaging veterans and civilians within their communities.

This is the first year the flag made an appearance in Oregon. The flag actually started on Sunday, September 11 at Microsoft headquarters in Seattle before making it to Joint Base Lewis-McChord and then Woodland Washington where my local Team RWB crew took charge.

Our smaller group of three runners picked up the responsibility at Ridgefield. Our group of three runners had decided to do the 6 miles in 2 mile solo increments with me taking the last handoff.

My handoff was at the top of a hill in the middle of farm land. I was really worried because I am on the slower side of running, and I am still getting my legs back under me a bit.

I took my handoff and I think it hit me at that point that this was not any ordinary running experience. I had said

Me taking the handoff, thanks to Team RWB for this amazing photo.
Me taking the handoff, thanks to Team RWB for this amazing photo.
before I was running for the people in my life who are veterans who especially in the last few years have been such a support system and helped me keep my head together when things did not seem possible. These people have done so much to support their country.

The two miles are insignificant at this point. So many cars honked, applauded, yelled their support. I was on one of the less crowded roads in terms of traffic but I think it gave me a chance to take in the entire experience more. The flag that I was holding is on a journey of 4,200 plus miles and will be in the hands of 62 teams that have come together for the same common cause.

Because I was dropping some of the social media coverage, I was able to get over to the Interstate Bridge and cover the runners crossing into their first state. Watching the flag come across the bridge up the hill on the interstate bridge was just truly an experience that I will not forget.

I have been trying to put into words what this whole thing means to me, but I don’t think words do it. I think the best way to talk about it is show the pictures. Thank you to my dad for getting some of these amazing moments.

A look ahead to @seattlemarathon and knowing when you think too big

My must do fall race is coming. But….
I thought way too big.
Last year after Seattle Marathon I was

When I was super excited about doing the full marathon
When I was super excited about doing the full marathon
feeling really good about my running and where I was at in my goals and I was thinking way too far ahead and I signed up for the full marathon with every intention of making it my 6th full marathon.

I was OUT of my mind.

If you read my post race recap for the SF Marathon I made it no secret.

I got super sick after SF to the point I went two weeks without running, working out or for that matter wanting to do anything.

Whatever I ended up getting killed my cardio too.

By the time I got back to running late in August my legs felt crappy and heavy.

This was going to be a short training cycle anyhow, so I have made the decision quite quickly to downgrade to the half. I can already tell that it has been a good decision. The training cycle had gone a lot smoother and I have had a lot more fun then I would of if I was trying to push out a full on the cycle.

The Lake Washington Sunrise best part of the course.
The Lake Washington Sunrise best part of the course.
I love the Seattle Marathon half marathon. It really gives you some of the best of Seattle. From traveling around Lake Washington to the famous #whathill at mile 8 to being able to come through Memorial Stadium to finish. It is truly a special event, the course support is truly second to almost any race.

But the thing is the race is super challenging. Anyone who has taken on mile 8 hill AKA “#whathill” knows what I am talking about. It also goes without saying how challenging the Arboritum

I have not decided on a goal yet for this race. Mother nature tends to throw her own challenges at this race. I tend to want to go into this race to have fun and really just enjoy it and use it to see what else needs to be worked on.

I encourage you to join me on any of the events. You will truly love your #BlackFriday weekend in Seattle. Let me know if you need a discount code.

ZRP Musings: Self Doubt Still Kills Me

I have not ran away from this place.

😉

I just have not been feeling all Zombie Running Princessey as of late.

But lets talk about a few things:

Dad’s home. If you have followed me on social media for any length of time you know my dads been in and out of hospitals for the past three years. I am excited to say he is home and doing pretty dang well. We have hit a few bumps in the road but its expected. Each day gets better.

Self Doubt Kills: I have been in a bit of a personal transition since dads been home and since I have been more focused on career and taking care of myself instead of taking care of the things that tend to take my attention. I have been saying no a lot more and been more focused on my goals instead of everyone elses. And I think that fear of letting other people down has been problematic.

I have always had an issue with self doubt in my head. I dont think the problem will ever quite go away. 2a4cd721fde84f1432fca6c4d339e60210c2b8047ed40e7357c5f79f790655dfI think a lot of it is I never saw myself as the one pursuing success. I so love what I do at Mud Run Guide, I love what I do at PWF and I am driven to be better. But I always go back to the girl who was a secretary, who had no further vision.

I think that has been the biggest thing, despite coming so far, I will always see the before me. I know who I am, just sometimes I need to remember to embrace the hell out of it.

The thing is, I have had a lot of good help, especially from a few of my “brothers” to realize that I have the talent to take it forward even when I don’t see it.

I am getting there, but it will always be my biggest challenge.

I will talk more about running soon, but my plan to just focus on SF and Seattle was a SMART idea. think I am more focused on getting better on what makes sense. I am still pacing (actually pacing one of my faviorte races this weekend.)

More later, just wanted to throw out in the open why I haven’t been blogging all that much.